The Cost of a Big Heart: Recognizing Your Worth and Setting Boundaries
Let’s talk about something that’s been on my heart lately: why people with big hearts often feel overlooked, undervalued, or even taken for granted.
If you’re someone who gives generously, loves deeply, and shows up wholeheartedly for others, you might’ve wondered why your efforts sometimes go unnoticed or unappreciated. It’s frustrating, even heartbreaking at times. But let’s break this down.
Article Contents
Why People Don’t Always Value Big Hearts
How to Notice When You’re Not Being Valued
How to Protect Your Energy and Advocate for Your Worth
Final Thoughts
Why People Don’t Always Value Big Hearts
1. They’re used to it.
When you’re consistently kind, generous, and dependable, people start to see it as the norm. They stop recognizing it as the gift it is.
2. They don’t know how to receive.
Some people don’t have the capacity to accept love or kindness because they’ve never learned how. Our big heart can feel overwhelming or even suspicious to someone who’s guarded or hurting.
3. They take it personally.
Sometimes our kindness reflects the areas where others feel inadequate. Instead of appreciating our heart, they might distance themselves to avoid facing their own shortcomings.
4. You might be giving without boundaries.
A big heart without boundaries can sometimes send the message that our love, time, or energy is unlimited – or worse, easy to come by.
How to Notice When You’re Not Being Valued
You feel drained or resentful. If giving leaves you feeling exhausted instead of fulfilled, that’s a sign something’s off.
Your efforts are dismissed or expected. People don’t say thank you, or they act like you owe them.
You’re the go-to for help, but never for celebration. You’re there for everyone else’s milestones, but when it’s your turn, it’s crickets.
You feel like you have to shrink to make others comfortable. If your kindness or compassion is met with judgment or discomfort, it’s not being valued.
How to Protect Your Energy and Advocate for Your Worth
1. Set boundaries.
Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. Decide what you’re willing to give, and don’t be afraid to say no when it doesn’t feel right.
2. Value yourself first.
We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Prioritize your well-being, and let your generosity flow from a full cup.
3. Speak up.
Sometimes people don’t realize they’re taking us for granted. A gentle, honest conversation can shift the dynamic.
4. Find your people.
Surround yourself with those who see and appreciate your heart. Not everyone will, and that’s okay. But the right people will value and reciprocate your energy.
5. Check your intentions.
Are you giving because you truly want to, or because you’re hoping to feel needed, loved, or validated? Reflect on where your need to give is coming from. Take a moment to ask yourself if this is truly serving you or others. If not, consider what else you could pour your time, energy, and effort into that brings you joy, fulfillment, and alignment with your purpose.
Final Thoughts
I’ve personally just stopped showing up. I’ve realized so much about myself and the people around me. In order to protect my heart and not let it turn cold I’ve made a conscious decision to kinda self isolate for awhile. I’m pouring every second into myself, my goals, and my connection with God.
One thing I know all too well is that humans can be finicky, self-serving, and turn on you at the drop of a hat. But God is always there. I’m done with over giving and giving of myself freely in general. I’ve done this my whole life and it’s only ended with me being hurt, betrayed, and left picking up the pieces.
I’m trusting God to bring the people who are meant to be around me. The people who will actually really be for me and want to grow together. Until then I will happily stay in my shell hidden away from the world.
Remember having a big heart is a beautiful thing. But it’s also a responsibility. Protect it. Nurture it. And make sure the people around you see it for the treasure it is.
What’s one way you’ve learned to honor your big heart? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
🤗 Jasmine
This content is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional advice.