Why True Impact Comes from Curiosity, Not Assumptions
One of the most interesting things I’ve noticed is how often people assume that if you’re not actively doing something, you must not know how to do it – or that you need to be taught. It’s a fascinating mindset because, when you really think about it, there are countless things you know how to do but simply don’t.
Maybe it’s a matter of capacity – you’re juggling other priorities. Maybe it’s just not aligned with what you’re focused on right now. Or maybe, quite simply, you don’t want to do it. And yet, people often project their assumptions onto others, believing that throwing information at someone is the solution they need. But that’s not what makes an effective coach, mentor, or helper.
The Danger of Assuming You Know What Someone Needs
The truth is, we don’t know what we don’t know. And more importantly, we don’t know what we don’t know about other people.
When we assume we have the full picture – when we think we know what someone lacks, what they need, or what they should do – we aren’t actually helping. We’re operating from our own perspective, not theirs. And that creates a disconnect.
Real effectiveness comes from holding space. From seeing the person in front of us as they are, rather than through the filter of our own beliefs or experiences. When we stop assuming and start being curious, we open up space for:
Empathy – Understanding someone’s situation without inserting our own narrative.
Compassion – Supporting them without making them feel inadequate or lacking.
Conversation – Asking, rather than telling. Listening, rather than assuming.
This shift in approach changes everything. Instead of pushing an agenda, we meet people where they are. Instead of imposing solutions, we help them clarify what they already know deep down.
People Already Have the Resources They Need
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), there are two presuppositions that I strongly resonate with:
The map is not the territory. This means that everyone sees the world through their own lens, shaped by their experiences, beliefs, and perspectives. No one has the full truth – just their version of it.
People have all the resources they need within them. Sometimes, people don’t need more information – they need the right questions to help them access what they already know.
This is why I don’t approach my work as a guru or an expert who has all the answers. I’m not here to tell people what to do. I’m here to remind you to Pause & Breathe, ask you the right questions, and help you tap into your own wisdom. My role is to help you clear the noise so you can hear your own guidance – the one that’s already there, waiting for you to listen.
Why People Come to Me
I believe this is why people love talking to me. They know I won’t assume I have all the answers for them. They know I’ll ask the right questions to help them get clarity. They know I don’t force solutions based on what I think is best but rather what makes sense for them.
Yes, I have a strong skill set, built over a decade of study, practice, and deep personal experience. But even beyond that, I have a lifelong connection with God and a commitment to following divine guidance in how I show up and serve. When I share insights, it’s never about forcing knowledge on someone – it’s about offering the missing pieces that truly resonate, in alignment with what they’re ready for.
Final Thoughts
If you truly care about helping others, whether as a coach, mentor, or simply as a human being, stop assuming. Stop filling in the blanks with your own story. Instead, start being curious. Ask questions. Listen.
Because when we do that, we create space for people to feel seen, heard, and understood – and that’s where real transformation happens.